bilby VI: past revealed

media class, 2009:

bilby and jacob staring at a screen.

bilby: "dude this movie of mine is so fucking awsome"
"no offence bilby, but its kinda lame. you injected way to many of your christian religions faiths and beliefs and you turned a decent film into a total slosh bucket of crucifixes and christs. 2 stars at best."
bilby smacks jacob over the head
"dude, do you have to act like such a fucking know it all every day?"
"yes, its how i get my kicks"
bilby sighs. walks over to another screen
"well what are you working on then?"
"the most awsome blood soaked slasher psychotic killer film ever!"
"christ, not another one?"
jacob giggles like a school girl and grins psychotically.
"i made josh the killer in this one"
josh bursts into the room
"someone mentioned my name, i came running as fast as i could!"
jacob and bilby stare at him.
bilby: "jacob just mentioned that he incorporated you into his film is all"
josh laughs. "oh yea, that thing. its alright as far as a jacob film goes"
jacob glowers "whats that supposed to mean?"
bilby "nothing man, just that their all kinda similar is all"
jacob jumps up on a table and dramatically raises his voice.
"say what you will, i will one day rise to be the greatest director of all time! and you will all come crawling to me, begging for money and shelter, and i shall spit on you and say yes, as long as you serve as my footstool for the next thousand and one years!" dramatic evil laugh.
josh and bilby join in the laughter.
josh: "your one funny fucker jacob. dont get too hung up on this whole movie gig though. if you do flop, you can always crash at mine you know"
jacob: "yea yea man, thanks, but il succeed no matter what"
bilby: "and marry our atractive cousins!"
lomg silence.
bilby; "..............or not, just joking (cough) "


slums of new york, 2012

croud of people gathered around a poster for a hellsing movie coming out soon
one person: "jacob, isnt he that shit director who everyone sais is worse than uwe bowe???"
second person: "yea, thats him. not worth a watch then i guess. lets see that new romantic comedy by the director of the bagman instead"
croud moves away
in the shadows, a figure stumbles away.

josh's appartment; 2 am, 2012

doorbell rings.
josh climbs out of bed. becca stirs
becca "what is it josh?"
"nothing babe, just the doorbell, go back to sleep"
goes down to answer door. jacob is standing outside. his clothes smell of garbage, he hasnt showered in weeks, and his beard is 3 feet long.
josh "jacob? christ man, what happened to you?"
jacob "sorry man, i didnt know were else to go. my movie career was a failure, and i had nothing to fall back on. iv been living on the streets for months now. i need help man!"
josh shakes head pityingly
"well, you better come in then"

3 am
josh and jacob sitting in the living room, drinking tea
jacob: "and thats my story. in hindsight, its all bilby's fault. if he hadnt had stolen my prize actor shane away from me, then none of my movies would have been a flop, and i would still be a massively succesful director. its all bilby's fault dammit!"
josh smiles.
"jacob, what if i told you that i could make you a great director again?"
"you can? how? do it man! help me out!"
josh rises up
"you see, i have, over the years, aquired a fair bit of power. some of it you would probably call black magic"
"dude, i stopped believing in magic like 2 years ago"
"shut up and listen to me you smelly hoboe!"
silence.
"good, thats better. now, i met a certain.....person a while ago, who for his own reasons also wishes bilby to come to some harm. i made a contract with him, and i was in turn granted massive power and magic, in return for my alleigence to this person."
"who is this person?"
josh smiles, and moves to a massive collection of books.
"he goes by many names. im not even sure its a him. it could be a collection of minds for all i know. but it is like no person you have ever seen."
"what names does it go by?"
"you have heard its name many times over. some call it lucifer, or nero, or hitler, or ktulu, or dracular. pretty much every creature that goes bump in the night was inspired by it. some even call it god"
jacob laughs.
"and you expect me to believe this, why?"
fire rises in a ring around jacob. furniture flies about as if in a whilrwind. the walls bleed. the floor dissapears into a gigantic chasm. darkness fills jacobs vision. a thousand voices laugh maniacly from all directions. and almost as soon as the darkness fills jacobs vision, he is sitting back in the living room with josh smiling at him.
"are you a believer now?"
jacob whimpers and nods.
josh: "ok, well heres how it goes. i can make you succesful and rich beyond your wildest dreams. i can make you powerful, fast, strong, almost god-like. i can give you whatever it is you want."
jacob: "....really? you can do that for me?"
"yes i can. all that and more if you want"
jacob smiles.
"whats the catch?"
josh laughs
"oh mr cobb, always so cynical arent we? well, the only catch is that you must remain loyal to me, and serve as my greatest and most powerful soldier"
"that doesnt sound so bad"
josh grins
"the accomodation is to die for"
jacob rises up
"ok, il do it"
"excelent. just sign here"
pulls out a contract and quill from the air.
jacob signs.
josh smirks.
"you made the right choice jacob. now close your eyes and you'll wake up in a better tomorow"

blacks out. jacob awakes lying in a massive double bed. he turns on his side, and see's christina scabia lying naked and asleep next to him. jacob grins
"well well josh, you dont dissapoint, do you?"
a maid rushes in
"mr jacob, mr jacob! good news, your new hellsing movie has just topped the biggest opening week box office takings. and adrien brody has signed on for a sequal!"
jacob gets out of bed and stands up triumphantly. the maid, looks down, blushes, then turns away. jacob looks down, at his crutch, as he is naked. he smiles broader.
"fuck yea! this is awsome! finally im above a size small!"


josh, kneeling before a shadowy, flaming throne.
"he has joined our cause master, and he will not dissapoint, i can assure you of that. i have crafted him into a fine warrior"
a figure on the throne rises up slightly, then sinks back down. a hissing voice, like a snake stalking a baby rabbit, breathes out slowly.
"well done josh. the fall of bilby is one step closer now."
josh rises up slowly.
"master, could i trouble you to make good on your promise now?"
the figure laughs, it is a sound that could make demons cower in fear.
"greedy little sucker, arent you josh? fine, i shall spare becca's life. but this does not mean that your service to me is over. there is much to do. i have such sights to show you"
josh backs away, glowering.
"yes.....master"
josh turns away, and stalks off into the shadows.
he mutters quietly to himself.
"and one day, i will end my service along with your life. i have such sensations to visit upon your flesh, MASTER"

tune in for part 7 sometime soon. hope you enjoyed it :P