bilby 8

josh was pissed. that mother fucker jacob had stabbed him in the back. he had given jacob power, strength, and a night with christina scabia. and what did jacob do? steal his girlfriend and leave him with flogan. josh was out for blood. there was no two ways about it. someone was gonna die.

jacob sat there waiting on top of mount ujif. he knew josh would come. he knew that he would come for becca, who was now screaming at him from her cage. josh had not made good on his promises. jacob had wanted the world. perhaps, he thought to himself, he had been a bit greedy. maybe. oh well, he thought. we'll sort this out sooner or later.

bilby was walking with jason and steven. they were heading to Dormor. in the distance, smoke rose from a great number of fires, burning black against the sky. theyw ere getting close. bilby was nervous about his company though. jason was flying higher than a kite, and steven....... well, steven could still remember when bilby had been drug fucked and violated him. bilby glanced over at steven. he was twitching, and he kept talking to himself. hmmm, thought bilby, better send him in first when we get to dormor..... dont want him in a close proximity to me when he starts to kill. jason exhaled a cloud of nice smelling smoke. "dude, i so cant believe that quentin appears to be behind it all. i bet all the readers out there cant believe it either." steven turned around. "dude, most of them dont know who quentin is. more importantly, what readers? its not like were some web comic or something that a pair of bored, fucked up kids invented to make their friends laugh" jason laughed whilst coughing up weed leaves. "bad mix, man. i like totaly inhaled half the fucking plant man, not just the leaves." steven slapped him "dammit jason, start explaining your knowledge of the fourth wall!" jason stumbled about. "hehe, he said fourth wall. sounds like he said...... um...... more whore??? sort fall??? darth maul??? dude, i dont even know what im hearing anymore" steven screamed, pulled out a battle axe and cut through the air into a world of smiling bouncy rabbits. then, in his rage, he proceeded to butcher all the happy bunnies. bilby stared in shock, and jason lay down on the ground laughing quietly to himself. after the massacre, steve stepped back out and the portal closed behind him. "there, that feels better" steven said, obviously feeling a lot calmer now. they continued walking on.

josh appeared on the top of mount ujif. he stepped out of a haze of smoke and looked around. there was no sign of jacob anywhere. but becca was there, in her smushed form in a little cage. quickly josh repaired her body with magic, and she stepped out of her cage in all her fairy glory. "bout fucking time" she said. suddenly, a loud roar sounded from behind josh. he spun around just in time to see jacobs sword sever his arm off. "FUCKING COCK SUCKER!" josh screamed. he knelt to the floor, stemming the blood flow with his hand. jacob stood over him, and tossed his severed arm over the mountain side. josh turned to becca. "WHAT THE FUCK??? WHY DIDNT YOU FUCKING TELL ME HE WAS BEHIND ME???" becca smiled and took a swig from her jim beam. "cause, you didnt get a chance to fuck me properly. i wanted you bad man, but jacob came in and you didnt get to do me." josh stood up. "AND HOW THE FUCK IS THAT MY FUCKING FAULT??? BLAME JACOB IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING START POINTING FINGERS!" becca sighed heavily. "fine, fine, sorry babe, i shouldnt have let your arm get cut off" she smiled. "although it was fucking funny. and all that blood makes me feel like im about to come." josh stared in exasperation at her. he turned away to face jacob. "crazy fucking fairy's...." he muttered to himself. jacob hoisted his sword. "so, you think you can take me with only one arm josh?" josh smiled, and used his magic to instantly re grow his severed limb. "just remember who gave you your power jacob. i can take it back just as easily as i gave it to you." jacob lunged at josh, but josh summoned a pair of large snakes, and they bit jacobs ankles, pinning him to the ground. then josh fired a bolt if lightning in the form of a power thrust, and it fried right through jacobs sword arm. "an eye for an eye" josh smiled. jacob used his other arm to snap the snakes necks, and grabbed his arm, holding it to the severed stump, and his flesh began to twist and rejoin to itself. soon, his arm was re-attached. he swung his sword in a circle slowly, and locked eyes with josh. "dont think that it'l be that easy." becca giggled. "man, all this violence is making me so wet right now"

bilby, steven and jason walked onto a barren, blackened field, and saw ahead of them the gates of dormor. they advanced across the field, drawing closer. "shane, im almost here" bilby said. "i can almost feel your moist lips against my cock right now." steven punched him in the arm. "man, that is so gay." jason chuckled. "We are oft to blame in this. 'Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself". bilby and steven looked at each other with puzzled looks on their faces. "whatever man, you guys are living in the past" jason grumbled. in the distance, the gates of Dormor began to part. bilby quickened up his pace. "yes, the gates are opening. one CAN simply walk into dormor!" but bilby soon found the smile falling off his face. from the gates, a great plague of mishapen creatures spilled out and came running towards them. the creatures looked like they were made up of parts from different corpses, and no creature had the right number of limbs or features. they smelled of rotting flesh, and the stitches that bound their limbs together flied around in the air with a mind of their own, almost as if they wanted to pierce the still living flesh of their adversaries. "to battle!" cried bilby. bilby then entered his bezerker state of mind, and charged into the horde of undead screaming wildly and swinging his claymore as if it was made of paper. jason exhaled a cloud of nice smelling white smoke, which caused the creatures hit by it to turn around and start tearing apart their brethren. jason then pulled out a long spear and began impaling 3 undead at a time with each stab. steven swung his axe at the ground, and severed right through to a dimension inside an active volcanoe. many of the creatures, not having well-functioning eyes, simply dropped into the portal, and sizzled to a fiery death. those that made it over the chasm were quickly decapitated by stevens ax swings. bilby charged through the horde, whirling his claymore so fast it was a blur. stinging stitches pierced his flesh many times, but he fought on regardless, shredding all that got near him. mr bilby was this close to regaining his lost love. no amount of badly sewn dead bodies would stop his primal urges of lust and anger now.

josh and jacob continued their battle. jacob ducked and weaved with his superior sword work, and more often than not, managed to draw blood from josh. but josh's magic healed him almost instantly. josh fired many powerful spells in quick succesion, blasting apart the battle field, and blackening the sky with dispelt energy. but jacobs agility enabled him to avoid the worst of the attacks, and any injuries he sustained were healed by his enhanced body. eventually, jacob fired a beam of anti matter from his metal plated hand, wich collided with a black blast of fire that josh had fired, and cause a massive explosion. when the dust cleared, josh was standing still, and in his hands he held a piece of paper. jacob's eyes widened. "oh no" josh grinned. "oh yes. its your contract to me." jacob felt his limbs suddenly gain a lot of weight, and he was forced into a kneeling position with his head on the ground in front of josh's feet. josh paced back and forth. "look, theres no sense in us continuing this fight. you cant beat me, and i cant beat you. so, if i put away the contract and let you stand up, you gonna behave???" jacob sighed and gritted his teeth. "i guess i dont have much choice." josh made the contract disapear, and jacob was able to stand up again. "now" said josh, "you want to kill me because you didnt get everything you asked for. thats understandable. but you gotta understand that it wasnt my doing, it was quentins" "thats right" piped in becca. "he blackmailed josh into serving him, and then he forced josh to sign you on as a powerful warrior. he knew that you would be strong enough to beat bilby in a battle, but he wasnt prepared to give you too much lest you didnt want to fight bilby" josh sighed. "thanks for ruining my story for me" becca giggled "your welcome babe"

the battle raged on, and it wasnt faring well for bilby and co. bilby had lost a lot of blood from his multiple wounds, and he was begining to feel weak. jason had nearly run out of weed, and his speech was becoming noticeably less tripped out. steven was tiring from swinging his massive axe around all day. and the corpse soldiers kept coming. there seemed to be never ending numbers of them, and those that were still around from the first wave were gradually sewing back together their fallen comrades. "retreat guys, we cant beat them!" bilby screamed. "fuckin ay" replied steven, and jason gave a weak giggle. the tried to cleave their way back through to the edge of the plain, but the horde was too thick, the bodies too high. "were finished" moaned steven. "and i never got to profess my undying love for lady gaga!" "dude, your not in love with lady gaga" jason yeled out. "i know, but i would have liked to love a hermaphrodite!" replied steven. the throng of dead pressed in a tight circle around them, and began pressing in. "this is the end for bilby!" cried bilby. the sky was blotted by corpses, and all went dark for the three warriors. just then, a blast of pink light cleaved through the bodies, and sunlight streamed through the gap. the three took the oppertunitie, and leapt out, landing on the edge of the plain. there stood sym. his torso, right arm, and the right eye of his were completely cybernetic, and his right hand ended in a short barreled, futuristic looking cannon. the cannon charged up with light again, and fired another pulse of energy through the hordes of the dead. the three soldiers passed sym and kept running, before he turned and ran after them.

becca hovered around jacobs head. josh sat on a rocky outpost, facing jacob. jacob nodded and said "the enemy of my enemy is my friend. i guess il join your cause josh." "excelent!" squealed becca. "we can stay up late and watch tv and drink whiskey and tell ghost storeys and i can cook us pancakes for breakfast and" "becca, thats enough now" josh sighed. becca pouted. " jacob hoisted his sword and turned to the edge of the mountain. "were do we start?" as he spoke, a crackling sound filled the air, and shane appeared in a flash of light and fell face first onto the mountain side. "weres my beloved?" he cried out, tears streaming down his face. "quentin lied to me, he said i would be happy. but im not. i want my bilby!" becca josh and jacob looked at each other and turned back to shane. "hey, shane" josh stepped forward. "you say you want quentin to die as well?"

bilby sat around a campfire with sym, steven and jason sitting around him. the four were talking. "so we need to find more power" sym said. "and i know were a good sourse of it is" bilby leant forward. "we leave tomorow at dawn. you positive you know the way?" sym glared at him. "i know one thing: if you dont shut up im gonna have to give somebody a hurting real bad soon." bilby sat back. "ok ok, calm down man. just one question: why do you want to break into dormor?" sym stared into the fire, a look of rage across his cybernetic face. "because they took ganesh away from me. and i want him back"

coming soon to a blog near you: bilby 9.